The Methuselah Wizard of Oz
by mycarcrashheart
Summary: When Dorothy's house crushes the Wicked Witch, she gets more than she bargained for. A Wizard of Oz/Trinity Blood crossover, no real pairings. Final chapter now up!
1. Chapter 1

All Dorothy knew was that when that tornado swept her house away, it certainly didn't drop it in Kansas

(**A/N: Yeah, yeah, I don't own Trinity Blood. I don't own the Wizard of Oz. I don't own anything else in here except for the fact that I put it all together**

**For those of you with Dark Side of the Moon, press play now.)**

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All Dorothy knew was that when that tornado swept her house away, it certainly didn't drop it in Kansas. She was surrounded by a mob of Munchkins who were apparently down with making her queen. And for what? Because her stupid house landed on some hideous witch-woman!

"Ding dong, the witch is dead!" They were moving in, like circling sharks to blood.

"I didn't have anything to do with this, OK? It was not my idea!"

"But you killed the-"

"Please! Just go away, I'm not a queen," Dorothy pleaded, eyes wide with fear.

"That's because _I'm_ the queen." A young woman with long crimson hair and sapphire eyes appeared in front of Dorothy with an angry-sounding crack.

"Thank you! Please, make them go away!"

"I can't _make_ them do anything, unfortunately. They get on my nerves, too," the woman replied, rolling her eyes and pushing the forehead of the nearest, determined Munchkin.

"Oh, yes. I'm Esther, the Good-But-Irritated Queen. What do you need?"

"Um, I need to get back home to Kansas." Dorothy looked hopeful. Maybe Queen Esther had the answer!

Not so. "Where's Kansas?" Esther asked. "Is that in Albion?"

"Um, no, I don't think so."

"Well, I don't know. I'd love to help, but I'm really, really busy. Not to mention these guys."

Dorothy hung her head dejectedly. Esther's face softened.

"I really would help you if I could. How about this? Go find the Wizard of Oz. Maybe he'll know something."

Dorothy looked up. "Where is he?"

"Oh. I'd say the Empire City. That's where all the bigwigs are, anyway." She pushed another Munchkin away. "If I were you, I'd get out of here. They may look cute, but then again, so do men. Then they turn on you."

Dorothy groaned. "Thanks for cheering me up," she said sardonically.

Esther flared at once. "What?! I helped you, didn't I?! You think that wasn't good enough?"

"N-no! I'm just-"

Esther took a deep breath, triggering the 'look helpless' response from Dorothy. Esther sighed and ran her hand through her hair.

"Sorry. It's hard being a queen, you know?" Dorothy nodded. _Anything to keep her happy._

"I'll distract them; you run like a Methuselah's haste." _What?_ Dorothy thought.

"GO!" Esther shouted. As Dorothy escaped, the red-haired queen sighed again and began her climb up the remains of Dorothy's house. Once there, she tried to get their attention.

"Hey, Munchkins!" she yelled.

In what was surely an eerie coincidence, every little person in the vicinity turned their head in a Linda Blair-like movement.

"That's creepy," Esther muttered. Then, in a brighter tone of voice, she called out, "All Munchkins who want a signed photograph of the new queen, step right up!"

With a collective "Ding dong, the witch is dead!", each Munchkin began pressing his or her way to the old house, rapidly creating a riot of squeaking midgets and a distraction for Dorothy.

"Well, my job is done," said a relieved Esther. Before she disappeared again, she could see the vague outline of a Munchkin, rope in hand, steadily waddling his way to a group of trees.

_Anything for fame,_ Esther thought.

Dorothy decided that she should follow the only road in sight, which was paved with colorless cobblestones. After all, it was between being the hero of a town of midgets for the rest of her life or getting out. It was hardly a difficult decision. She quickly glanced around for an opening in the crowd of over-obsessive Munchkins and made a break for it.

With Toto in her arms, she ran until she could turn around and see a midget-free landscape. Sighing with relief, she slowed to a casual walk and gazed at her surroundings. Something in the colors seemed slightly off, as though she was looking at them from someone else's point of view. _That's silly,_ she thought. _I'm probably just tired from being in Munchkinland._ As she caught her breath, she also caught sight of a strangely dressed, tall, pale man tied by his arms to the fence beside the path. _Well, at least he's tall,_ she thought dryly. She strode up to him and set Toto down carefully

beside her.

"Hello, sir."

The man gave no response.

"Hello?"

She waved her hand in front of his face, hoping to catch his attention. He blinked and turned around only to jump back in surprise.

"Hello!" he said brightly. "Are you new here, too?"

"I think so. I mean, I'm not really sure. A tornado picked up my house and brought me here. What about you?"

The man had begun humming to himself while she talked. Dorothy bit her lip and asked again.

"How did you get here?"

He stopped humming and said cheerfully, "I really don't know. I've always been here, haven't I?" He paused and furrowed his brow. "I mean, I think so." Suddenly, he noticed Toto on the cobblestones below him. The little black dog was doing his best to rip his the man's long black robes.

"Hey! Down, boy! Down!" He frantically danced around Toto while trying not to step on him. Toto barked.

"Hush, Toto." Dorothy picked him up and held his mouth shut with her hand. "I'm Dorothy." She held out her hand, forgetting that the man's arms were tied to the fence.

"And I'm Abel Nightroad. Pleased to meet you. But not your dog." Toto growled through his teeth at Abel, who growled back. Dorothy sighed. _Why do I have to deal with the idiots today?_

"Mr. Nightroad, do you know where I could find the Wizard of Oz? Esther the Good-but-Irritated Queen told me that if I find him, maybe he can help me get back home."

Abel shrugged as much as he could. "I'd tell you, but…"

"But what?"

"I'm afraid I can't tell you because I don't have a liver."

Dorothy wrinkled her brow. "That can't be right."

He thought for a minute. "OH! I meant a brain. Yes, I don't have a brain, and that is why I cannot tell you." He nodded assuredly as Dorothy giggled.

"Well, if you want to come with me, maybe you can find a liv- …brain."

Abel grinned like a child and leapt forward, only to be held back by the baling twine around his arms.

"Here, let me help you." Dorothy produced a very sharp pair of gardening clippers from her dress and began cutting the twine.

"Hey, where'd you get those?" Abel asked curiously.

"Munchkinland. I was afraid I'd have to, well… _improperly_ use them, if you know what I mean." She continued clipping.

"Oh, no! You would use them for _that_?" Abel said, eyes wide with horror.

"If worse came to worst, yes."

"Wow," Abel said, awestruck. "I never thought anybody would use _gardening_ clippers to cut coupons!"

Dorothy stared at Abel, who showed off his childlike smile once again, and sighed.

"Come on, Mr. Nightroad. Let's find you a brain."

-

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Do I qualify for a single room in the loony bin now? I hope someone likes it. I enjoyed writing it, even though it takes quite a bit of caffeine to write this. Please review and tell me what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

Dorothy and Abel had walked along the uncolored cobblestone road for ten minutes when they came upon a man dressed in robes th

**(A/N: I don't own Trinity Blood, or the Wizard of Oz, or anything else, for that matter. Why do we have to write these, anyway? It's fanfiction. net, obviously we're FANS writing FICTION. And do they really think the real authors are going to write fanfiction about their books? 'Cause if L. Frank Baum manages to write fanfiction, he's got a bigger problem than lacking a disclaimer.)**

Dorothy and Abel had walked along the uncolored cobblestone road for ten minutes when they came upon a man dressed in robes that somewhat resembled Abel's, standing by the road. He had two very large guns by his sides and was staring blankly ahead. Soft tufts of light brown hair, which matched his eyes uncannily, stuck up cutely all over his head.

Dorothy fearlessly stepped up to him and said politely, "How do you do, sir?"

The man examined her emotionlessly. "All systems operating at standard level. There have been no malfunctions since the time of my last examination."

Dorothy looked at her little black Scottish terrier, who had begun to bark at the strange man. "Do you always talk like that?"

"Positive. I have been programmed to give clear and accurate responses to all inquiries."

"Hush, Toto." The dog fell silent but continued to give the man a dog's version of the evil eye. Abel looked at him curiously.

"What's your name, sir?"

"I have been given the title Father Tres Iqus. However, my alias is Codename Gunslinger."

Ordinarily, all this bizarre information would have stunned and confused Dorothy. However, she had recently been teleported by a tornado, confronted by an evil witch, made the idol of a midgets' village, and, to top it all off, given a pair of ruby slippers.

Having brought this memory forth, Dorothy glanced down at them and smiled. The red sparkles were so pretty!

Abel, who had given up on the unusual stranger, looked down as well and immediately became mesmerized by the shiny red hue. Dorothy noticed him staring and shuffled to her left a few paces. She tried to direct the attention to Father Tres.

"Is everyone like you where you live?"

"Negative. I have determined that others in my homeland experience feelings, unlike myself. They also appear to have knowledge of an emotion known as love. However, my database does not have sufficient information to determine the nature of such feelings."

"You don't know where love comes from?" Dorothy was surprised. Back home in Kansas, _everyone_ knew where love originated. "Silly! Love comes from your heart."

"The heart… the organ located in the upper left of the torso region used for the pumping and transportation of blood?"

"Sure."

"I have no heart. I am not human; I am machine. A machine has no use for such an organ."

Dorothy felt sorry for Mr. Tres. "But everyone needs a heart! If you don't have a heart, you can't love."

Abel had an idea. "If you come with us, maybe we can find you a heart." He looked at Dorothy's shoes again. Dorothy tried to hide her growing irritation.

Tres processed this information. "What is my lady's destination?"

"Well, I'm trying to get back home to Kansas. Me and Toto, we got picked up by a tornado and now we need to go home to Auntie Em. And Father Nightroad's trying to find a brain. So we're going to the Empire City."

Tres tried to move forward but found his legs too stiff. "Request aid in regaining motor capacity."

"Your motor's broken?" Abel said. "So's mine! I'm really tired." In an instant, Dorothy saw the looming shadow of the tall priest on the ground before her. She casually stepped out of the way and allowed him to fall to the ground, where he painfully curled into a ball.

"Negative," Tres answered. "My leg prostheses seem to have accumulated rust during my extended stay in current position. I require one of two following remedies: Sandpaper or oil."

"Oh! I have sandpaper!" Dorothy cried. She produced a small roll of the gritty paper and handed it to Tres. "Here you go."

"Where'd you get that?" Abel asked.

"Somewhere."

"Where?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes."

"No. You don't. Trust me."

"OK." Abel started humming again. Dorothy took a deep breath and waited patiently while Tres finished his self-maintenance routine.

"I am now prepared, Miss Dorothy. In which direction do we begin?"

Dorothy thought for a second. "I think we should follow this road. It seems all right."

Tres stepped forward successfully and joined them. "Then let us commence."

-

They continued down the colorless cobblestone road, with Abel humming and Dorothy whistling. Every so often, Tres would glance at his companions and perform a quick scan based on their appearance. Abel's silver hair, tied back in a ponytail, was bouncing along with his owner. Dorothy's blue and white gingham dress was sprinkled with black hairs from Toto, who was trotting beside them.

Tres had concluded that all were fully functional just as they came upon a very muscularly large man looking befuddled beside the road. His black motorcycle jacket lay on the grass below an apple orchard, and he held a small lined index card in his hand.

"Hello, sir." Dorothy smiled brightly.

"Yeah, hi!" Abel smiled, too. Dorothy cut her eyes in his direction. Tres, being programmed for politeness, waited to be spoken to.

"Uh, hey. I'm Leon. Where am I?" he asked. He ran his hand through his wavy black hair in confusion.

"Why, you're in Oz," Abel replied.

"Why didn't you tell us that?" Dorothy asked in surprise.

Abel shrugged. "You didn't ask." Dorothy silently counted to ten.

"Well, what the hell am I doing here?"

"I don't know, sir."

"'Cause one minute I'm in Rome and the next, I'm here. But hey, you're cute, you know?" He grinned. Dorothy gulped and took a step back.

"Aw, hey, I'm just bein' friendly. Any of you guys know how to get outta here?"

"My database suggests that we take this monochrome cobblestone road until another opportunity becomes present."

"Huh?"

Dorothy thought about it for a second. "He means we should walk along this road until we find something else."

"Yeah, well, makes sense, doesn't it?" Leon held out his index card. "And what do I do with this?" He read it aloud. "'Oh dear me. If I only had courage, I could fight off this terrifying…mouse'. What the…? I ain't afraid of no mouse."

Abel jumped back in fright. "A m-m-mouse? Where?" He jumped into Dorothy's arms.

The muscled man stepped forward threateningly. "Hey, Four-Eyes, back off my girl."

Dorothy had had a bad day, and this idiotic exchange was like kerosene to a fire. "YOUR girl? Who said I was _your_ girl? Huh?" Breathing heavily with anger, she let Abel fall to the ground. "I quit! I'm sick of this stupid place, and this stupid story, and these stupid people!" She picked up Toto and began walking back toward the Munchkin village.

"Even those midgets are better than this!"

Abel's eyes began to tear up. "Y-you don't love us anymore?"

Dorothy stopped in her tracks. _Don't give in,_ she thought. _It'll only make things worse._

"Of course I love you," she said. _Dang it!_

Abel clapped happily. "Yay!"

Dorothy looked down at Toto.

"Toto, I have no resolve." The little dog barked in agreement. "What?! You're supposed to comfort me and tell me it'll all be better in a minute!"

Abel poked his head into the brewing argument between the girl and her Scottish Terrier.

"We can make you feel better!"


	3. Chapter 3

(Disclaimer:

**(Disclaimer: I don't own Trinity Blood, I don't own the Wizard of Oz.)**

Last time: "We can make you feel better!"

Now back to our regularly scheduled program:

"Try me." _Oh, no…_

Abel whispered something in Leon's ear.

"What? No way,_ no way_. I gotta keep my dignity, man!"

"Please?" Abel pleaded.

"NO. WAY."

"Well…what about this?" He leaned over and whispered again. The muscular man wrinkled his brow in confusion.

"How the-? I can't do that! YOU can't do that!"

"Yes, I can. I'm authorized," Abel said.

Dorothy, recovered from her violent and rather impressive outburst, looked at Toto again.

"Should we pull another Munchkin stunt, Toto?" Before the Scottie could open his mouth, Abel turned around smartly.

"All right," he announced. "We're gonna do a little dance I like to call… the TIME WARP!" He jumped to the center of their motley crew and stood up straight.

"The… time warp?" Dorothy asked.

"No," Abel explained, "It has to be capitalized."

She hung her head and sighed.

"C'mon, it'll be fun!"

"Fine. After all, things can't possibly get worse, can they?"

"Don't say that; it's like a guarantee that things _will _get worse," Leon said while rolling his coffee-colored eyes.

"Here we go, Leon!"

Leon sighed. "Dang it. OK. It's just a jump to the left," he said in a brilliant imitation of Tres.

"And then a step to the right!"

"Grrr…With your hands on your hips."

Abel took over.

"All right, everybody: You bring your knees in tight, but it's the pelvic thru-u-ust that really drives you insa-a-ane!"

Then Abel shouted, "Let's do the Time Warp again!"

Dorothy thought in surprise, _This isn't so bad._ She could read the same expression on Leon's face, who appeared addicted to the catchy dance.

"What'd you do to us, Four-eyes?"

"See? Don't you feel better?"

Dorothy could only nod in response.

-

After over twelve renditions of the Time Warp (in which Tres did not take part), Dorothy and the others collapsed in a pile on the grassy ground, panting heavily.

"That's it. I'm never leaving Kansas again. Even if I get scouted for Hollywood, it's going to be home sweet home for me."

Abel sat up in curiosity. "What's Hollywood?"

"Um, it's a place out west. They make a lot of movies." She closed her eyes. "I guess I was wrong, what I said about getting scouted. I'd love to be in a movie. Be famous, get my picture on magazines…"

"Oh."

"I suppose you could say it's even my dream, besides getting home. Being a movie actress, that is." Dorothy looked at the tall, black-clad man. "Mr. Nightroad, do you have a dream?"

To Dorothy's surprise, he was already up and walking around. Leon yelled at him from his spot on the grass, "Yo, Four-eyes! Girl asked you a question!"

When Abel turned around, he smiled widely at Dorothy and answered.

"Yes, actually. At the moment, my dream is to find both a brain and a cup of milk tea with thirteen sugars."

Now Dorothy had seen a lot during the course of the day, but this took the cake.

"Th-thirteen? Sugars?"

"Indeed. I've been told I have unusual tastes…"

Dorothy smiled. "My Auntie Em told me once that I was crazy, just because I like chocolate-covered chili peppers. But really, they're very good. It's the perfect blend of spicy and sweet-"

Tres interrupted Abel's dry-heaving. "I advise that we continue our journey in order to make the most efficient use of daylight."

Dorothy, who was the best at translating Tres' small speeches, thought quickly.

"He means we should keep going while it's still daylight."

"That sounds like a great plan!" Abel began humming again as he started down the path,

Toto biting at his heels. "Come on, Dorothy, Leon! Mr. Tres, you can lead us. Down, boy!"

-

The little group continued walking through picturesque fields of grain, forests, and the stereotypical babbling brook, until they saw an enormous city in the distance with a clear bubble above it.

"Yeah, I'm gonna guess that's the Empire City," Leon said.

Tres clicked and whirred until he came up with an answer. "My scan data reveals that the presence of the prete above the city proves that this is indeed the Empire City."

"What's the bubble for?" Leon asked.

After a few seconds' clicking, Tres replied, "It protects the Methuselah citizens from the destructive UVA and UVB sun rays."

"What did he say, Dorothy?"

The girl shrugged her shoulders. "Beats me."

"Well, there's only one way to find out!" Abel began skipping toward the gates, pausing only to smell a few flowers from the gargantuan field that surrounded them. As he bent over, his face melted into an image of contentment.

"Wow, smell this, Leon!" Abel's eyes closed as the Spanish man stepped over curiously.

"Mmm… woah," he said, swaying just a bit. "What is this?"

Toto began whining underfoot when Dorothy lowered herself onto one knee.

"Hush, Toto." Dorothy, too, was enchanted by the smell.

One by one, each member of the party fell to the ground yet again, possessed by the delicious scent of the opium poppies. The next two hours passed in an eerie silence, until the sun set and a blue-haired man in Middle-Eastern garb exited the city. Only Tres, the last 'man' standing, was a witness to what happened next.

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I know people are reading this (or at least clicking the link), please review.


	4. Chapter 4

(Disclaimer: I don't own Trinity Blood, or the Wizard of Oz

**(Disclaimer: I don't own Trinity Blood, or the Wizard of Oz. However, I do own a pair of Chucks.)**

When Dorothy and company awoke, they found themselves in a large, Byzantine-style room high above the ground, although the lack of windows suggested they could be anywhere.

"Where… are we?" Dorothy asked quietly through the darkness. "And where's Mr. Tres?"

"Ah yes. The… guests have awakened." An unseen, gleefully evil voice seemed to slither through the air.

"A- are you the Wizard of Oz?"

Silence.

"S-sir?" Dorothy tried again. As scared as she was, she was also incredibly tired and really craving chocolate chili peppers. She balled her hands into fists.

"Hey! Answer me, Mr. I'm-Too-Scared-To-Show-My-Face!"

"You will regret that, my dear. Or you will find yourself in the same position as your robot friend."

Dorothy's eyes widened at the thought of Mr. Tres being hurt. _But,_ she wondered, _do robots feel anything anyway?_ This thought made her feel better.

"Hey…" Abel, to her left, said as he wriggled around, "What's on my hands? Dorothy, I'm sorry I asked so many questions, please let me go!"

"Hush!" To the mysterious voice, Dorothy called out, "Please, could you tell me how to get back to Kansas?"

"And find me a brain?" Abel called weakly.

"It would be wasted on you, my bespectacled friend."

"Mr. Tres needs a heart," Dorothy said.

"An android? A heart? Dear, please try to keep up." The voice began to laugh coldly, which only further infuriated Dorothy.

"All right, you, give these… people what they need so I can get out of here. I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I really, really miss home! Don't make me-"

Dorothy's night vision was becoming clearer by the minute, and she realized that a small black curtain hung between them and the other side of the room.

Another, more exotic male voice coughed and announced, "Please ignore the man behind the curtain-"

"Shut your mouth, Radu, or the wrath of my str-"

The original voice gasped and hurriedly returned to its previously deep tone.

"Um…as I was saying…"

"Sir, please give my friends what they want so I can LEAVE. Esther the Good-But-Irritated-Queen said you could give us what we most desire."

"Ah, Esther. Too good for her own good."

"Well obviously she was wrong about you, wasn't she? Come on, Mr. Nightroad, Leon. We're getting out of here."

Dorothy hoped whoever was behind the curtain wouldn't call her bluff, but it was merely wishful thinking. A teenage boy (or a masculine girl?) pulled the curtain back and sighed.

"Enter the land behind the curtain."

Dorothy took a cautious step forward, uncertain of the consequences of her actions.

"M-Mr. Nightroad? I think we should go on, don't you? Come on."

After much tugging and pulling, as well as unnecessary violence on Dorothy's part, Leon and Abel had both managed to walk through the curtained area.

-

-

The sight that met their eyes was certainly not all their journey had cracked it up to be. Even though Dorothy knew her imagination to be a bit on the wild side, she could see her expectations exploding in the air before her.

Instead of fantastical colored horses or enormous emerald structures, all that awaited them was a pale-skinned, black-haired man sitting on a Victorian-era chair and Mr. Tres in a far corner. The room rather lent itself to claustrophobia, barely fitting the brunette boy and the blue-haired man in with them.

"OK, joke's over. What now?" Dorothy said, trying to hide the tremor in her voice.

"Aw, it's OK, Dorothy." Abel patted her shoulder.

"Don't touch me."

"Sorry."

The black haired man cleared his throat.

"I suppose you all wish to know what is going on, don't you?"

"Um, yeah, that would be nice," Dorothy said.

"Well then, let us begin. Dorothy, what do you most desire?"

"Oh, I really want to go back-… how do you know my name?"

The man grinned unnervingly.

"Never mind." Dorothy thought of something. "But what's your name?"

He sighed. "Fine. I am Lord Isaak." The Middle-Eastern man looked daggers at him, while the brunette simply smiled in a beautiful but disturbing manner.

"_Lord_ Isaak? Isn't that a bit much?"

"One more snide remark from you, Dietrich, and your rank will be filled by Radu," The blue-haired man smiled, "or any other recruit I happen to find along the street." His face fell again.

"Now," he addressed Dorothy, "what did you say? The presence of idiots tends to inhibit my hearing."

"I said that I would like to get home to Kansas."

"Kansas?" Dietrich wrinkled his face. "Is that in Albion?"

"NO!" Dorothy shouted. "It is NOT!"

The following silence and the collective stunned stares of all present almost proved too much for Dorothy's personal embarrassment scale.

"…sorry," she murmured, looking at the cold gray floor. When she looked up again, she noticed Dietrich whispering in 'Lord' Isaak's ear.

"…need new recruits…nice temper… skills…great bod…"

"No way." Dorothy shook her head fiercely. "Forget it."

Dietrich slouched his shoulders and sighed.

"Can we get back on track, please? Or will teenage hormones continue to override the plan?"

Dietrich rolled his eyes.

"Now, Dorothy, you wish to get home to Kansas?" Isaak asked graciously.

"Yes, please."

"And your companions?"

"I want a liv-… brain, please." Abel fluttered his eyelashes prettily. Isaak appeared repulsed as he turned to Leon.

"Yeah…um, gimme some courage."

"And the robot wants a heart… so he says. But some things are better done by the heartless." Dietrich leered at Dorothy.

"Forget it."

"Dorothy, my dear, please try to ignore the fool behind the curtain." Dietrich stuck his tongue out childishly.

"So how do I get back home?" Dorothy demanded.

"Just click your blood red…er, _ruby_ red slippers together and chant 'There's no place like home'."

"Is this some kind of cult thing?" Dorothy asked suspiciously.

"No."

"All right… here goes nothing." Dorothy picked up Toto, closed her eyes, and tried to click the shoes together.

"Curse my lack of coordination," she muttered. "Take two!"

Looking down at her feet, she slowly brought her heels together and immediately the scenery changed. The tiny room began swirling before her eyes as she felt her feet lifted off the floor.

"Hey! Put me down!"

Everything faded to black until her feet landed on a polished, shining surface.

-

-

"Wh-where are we, Toto?"

Right before her, a man who bore a striking resemblance to Mr. Nightroad turned around and grinned. Dorothy's eyes widened in surprise. Now, the man's only resemblance to the cheerful buffoon was their facial features. This man's hair, although blonde, made chills run down her spine. His eyes, ice-blue, narrowed with satisfaction.

"Hello," he said maliciously.

"Oh, Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas!" Dorothy cried.

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**One more chapter of weirdness, at least for this story. Did you like it? I hope so, my family's ready to sell me to the circus. Or at least rent me out.**


	5. Epilogue Movie Magic

Wizard- Chapter 5 Wizard- Chapter 5

**Epilogue: Movie Magic**

Dorothy awoke to a gasp from her cross-stitching Auntie Em.

"Henry, she's come to!"

"Where am I this time?" Dorothy muttered. She pulled her hand across her sleepy eyes.

"Dorothy, dear. How do you feel?"

"Trippy."

Auntie Em looked worriedly at Uncle Henry, who shrugged his shoulders.

"Kids today, I tell ya."

Dorothy sat up straight, remembering her adventure.

"Oh, Auntie Em, I had the weirdest dream!"

"I don't doubt it. I told you not to eat those chocolate peppers Miss Gulch sent you. But did you listen? Noooo."

"It was like this…"

But no matter how hard she tried to explain it, nobody seemed to understand. Although bummed, Dorothy had an idea. When her muttering aunt and uncle finally left her alone for a minute, she pulled a notebook and a pencil from her bedside drawer. Bent double over the paper, she wrote until the sun went down. Finally, she sat up and dusted the eraser shavings from the bedspread.

"What do you think, Toto?"

The little black dog barked and wagged his tail. For once, it was a bark of approval.

"I'm glad you're on my side, Toto." She scratched his head playfully while she thought out a plan. Two minutes later, she had her answer.

"Toto, darling, how do you feel about Hollywood?"

-

By the time the Greyhound bus pulled into the station, Dorothy had hugged Auntie Em, packed Toto into his wicker basket, written down her address (when you're the only one around for miles, you tend to forget such pointless details), and promised to write.

"Auntie Em, do you really think I would leave you and Uncle Henry all alone without so much as a letter from me?"

"Dorothy, dear, I hate to be a bother…"

"Oh, it's no problem whatsoever."

"Dear, make sure the chilies are red, not green, before you eat them. We don't want another… incident."

"But Auntie Em, if it hadn't been for Miss Gulch's peppers, I wouldn't be going to Hollywood."

Her aunt brightened. "Well, that's true, I suppose." She patter her niece's hand comfortingly. "Have a good time, Dorothy. And don't eat anything bigger than your head."

-

The flabby, red-faced man tapped his cigar against the silver ashtray. The deep mahogany wood paneling seemed a little claustrophobic to Dorothy, but she shrugged it off. She'd had worse. She leaned in to hear what the head director of Hollywood studios had to say about her script.

"Well, it's certainly original, I'll give you that."

"So you like it, Mr. Fleming?"

"I wouldn't go that far. But it has potential, I'll give you that. A few character revisions, maybe more plot development in this section"- he pointed to the script- "and something needs to be done about the priest."

"Oh, he's too stupid?"

"No, he's a member of the clergy. I don't have any qualms about that, but the lawyers would have a field day with that. Religion in a kids' movie, that kind of thing. That's the stuff that gets us censored, ups the rating."

"Oh, but it's not a kids'-"

"Look, darlin', no adult audience would buy this. I'm not bein' critical, I'm just sayin' the honest truth. But this could be a huge hit for the kids' market." He spread his hands wide and looked her in the eyes.

"Well, if that's what you think is best."

"Trust me on this one. Now, I think this robot man-"

"Father Tres."

"Yeah, him. Don't you think he'd be better as like, an iron woodcutter, somethin' like that?"

"Hmmm. The Tin Woodman?"

"Now you're talkin'."

-

Dorothy sat in the Hollywood preview room, munching on a handful of chili/chocolate popcorn while Toto sat in the seat beside her. She luxuriated in the velvet-covered armrests and seat backs. This was really the day she had been waiting for, all her life. To see the credits roll before the film and see her name as the writer _and _the lead role. Yes, this was the moment.

"Here it comes, Toto."

Starring: Dorothy as herself. Writer: Dorothy.

"Well, you'd think they could have at least put my last name," the girl said grumpily, even though she realized that she was a juvenile and all, although she preferred the term _minor_, because juvenile made her sound like a criminal. Cheering up a bit, she realized that everyone who knew her and bothered to see this movie would think of her as a movie star. Yes, Kansas was never going to have the same "no place like home" feel it once did. She was gold, baby.

-

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**(A/N: So, was it a successful conclusion? Tell me what you liked about it, especially if you read all the way through. I hope I can write more fanfics, so reviews will help me gauge how to go about doing so. Thank you, and good night.)**


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